• Carwash Holiday

  • Posted on 29/05/23 10:00pm
  • I like going through the carwash.
    No, not me as a who-man bean
    I mean me in my car.
    I used to take the kids through as a kind of mini holiday
    when we were'nt flush.
    I'm not flush now but I'm flusher.
    The kids insisted I take them through again which on
    one occasion I did.
    The car was 'spockless' as my Mam used to say.
    Anyway, I went through the 'platinum' wash yesterday.
    It's one above the 'Gold' and I was intrigued to see
    the £1 difference in the gleaminess.
    Well, what a riot it was.
    The suds!!
    Lord of the suds, thats the platinum wash.
    And the brushwork was very intense.
    My mirror felt the strong arms of that brushwork
    pressing onto its tender casing which heaved
    breathlessly against my passenger window.
    That was a Mills and Boon moment and it's a Sunday too.
    Anyway, my car was rancid and needed the carwash more than
    a rebel needs a cause.
    When the deed was done and the green arrow prompted my
    leave, I drove on a little then stopped and surveyed the bejesus
    out of my mean machine.
    Well, the joy of that gleaminess. I saw myself,
    metaphorically, and literally in the incandescence of that sheen.
    And the Tyres and things that the Tyres go on....
    As I drove around I felt lighter somehow,
    and it felt like the car was driving with a smooth confident air,
    Like a pony or the non-jealous partner of a flirty, needy, significant other.
    The only downside was, because I got a Platinum wash,
    I received a free air freshener that hangs from the mirror.
    It smells of face powder my Auntie Mim used to use.
    I don't like it at all but somehow seem compelled to use it.
    It was free and I'd feel a tad profligate in the face of such fortune.

© Mike Walker 2024